1. |
Old House
06:36
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Trapped in this old house
I wonder why you’d ever want to be here
We’ve gone down this route so many times
The echoes ring in my ear
Just saw you lash out
At the man you’ve loved for the last twenty-seven long years
Under these covers
I’d rather disappear
In my mind I wonder if you ever saw why I was so alone
Because in my heart, I know there’s no way I could ever call this place my home
I’ve missed our disputes
I’ve missed them all like I miss my middle school gym
A virtuoso
Too bad I couldn’t turn out just a little like him
I’ll borrow your sadness
How many times until I can’t anymore?
And every time I turn around
It’s when you slam the door
Always thought I’d see you someday trying to erase our growing pains
Never thought I’d come back here to find the tribulations that remain
I keep moving forwards,
But you only want to go back
Time keeps moving faster,
But you only want to slow down
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2. |
Dispirited Away
04:18
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Garments from our dress up scattered all over the place
Look at silly us, we’ve trashed this claustrophobic space
Better clean it up before our mother comes to see what we’ve created
Imagination
Last night I dreamed I saw you in the dark
Our monster caught us in the arc of our delusions
We cried until our daddy came to save us
From the fairytales that made us
I want to build a castle in the sky
Or to befriend imaginary neighbors as long as they’re not feeling shy
But when Mom and Dad turn into pigs, your eyes are no longer dry
I wonder if they know how badly you don’t want to say goodbye
They miss you so
As we rode our unicorns to very distant lands
I placed a magic pebble in your tiny little hands
Better keep it safe when you’re alone and you have no one there to guide you
Let me remind you
I’ll send you lots of letters when you go
Away to schools that I don’t know about
A phone call every weekend here from Mom
An anecdote of something that went horribly wrong
I want to build a castle in the sky
Or to befriend imaginary neighbors as long as they’re not feeling shy
But when Mom and Dad turn into pigs your eyes, no longer dry
Do you know how sad I was when I heard your heartbreaking cries?
As you left at sunrise…
I don’t wanna run away again
I don’t wanna pass a chance that you and I could still be friends
I don’t wanna waste your time away
I only wanna know where the hell you are and if you’re still okay.
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3. |
Vacant
04:28
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If I had the chance to go back there
I guess I’d bear seeing you again
And I never thought I’d escape this mess
The chaos still exists in my head
And I can’t stop thinking of that part of me
I have bad dreams every now and then
And even though I can’t make you promises,
I’d much rather have you misled
Oh how can you stand to be like this?
You’re playing me just like a fool
The truth was that I was no stranger
To the warning signs I thought I knew
But somehow I just wasn’t brave enough
To face everything that I know
And if I knew how much I’d hurt from this
I would have left ten years ago
Maybe there’ll be some coincidence
And I’ll have some words once we’ve aged
Because so many times I’ve confronted you
While my mind was a lyric-less page…
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4. |
Translucent
05:35
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The only thing between my love and me
Are spectacles, which I don’t need to see
He left them on the microwave
I love the way he gave me all these memories
Walking round the busy streets of Albany
Chicken Joe’s is kind of far away
But I’ll go if he wants to,
Though I don’t know how long I can be unhealthy
Does he see a future where we get a place in New York City?
‘Cause I don’t think I’m reaching for a fantasy
I know we’re only twenty-somethings staring googly-eyed
Look through his eyes
Everything is all blurry
I wonder what my sweetheart’s doing now
He probably drove himself to work somehow
Should I go surprise him?
I don’t want to cause a ruckus at the Madison
Driving down the highway to another show
A cigarette is always in your hand
But I don’t want to reprimand
I try to understand you through your highs and lows
Does he see a future where we’re on a beach in Italy?
‘Cause I don’t think I’m reaching for a fantasy
I know we’re only twenty-somethings seeking paradise
See through your eyes
Everything is so blurry
I don’t know how long I have before our time’s all gone
Wake up to an empty bed before night has turned to dawn
And I can’t see why everyone just tries to run away
Because I know I could stare in your eyes ‘til the end of days…
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5. |
Pearl
03:42
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I forgot all the things she used to say
Can’t remember why she wanted it to be this way
Fell for someone other than myself
Who am I to tell her she can’t love anyone else?
Thousands of years go by and I never left your side
You would always come back to me, I thought that was implied
But then you gave yourself away because of him
Is this some kind of way to rub it in?
I didn’t win…
But sometimes he sounds the way that you did
He asks me so many questions and the answers are all I forbid
Was it fair to love me the way his father loved you?
I’m running out of things to say and do
When you left this world the skies turned into black
The trees lost all their petals and the eeriness came back
A harmless face looks up to me so I carry on, somehow
If you could see me through his eyes, what would you think of me now?
‘Cause sometimes he sounds the way that you did
He asks me so many questions and the answers are all I forbid
Was it fair to love me the way his father loved you?
I’m running out of things to say,
I’m running out of things to do.
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6. |
Told You So
07:07
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You are just a butterfly
A pair of wings, and you think you’ve got no direction
You say I’m some ray of sunshine,
But darling I see raindrops in your eyes
I wish I could fill your half-empty glass
It’s hard to fly when snowflakes veil the grass
The rushing wind is passing by,
Every time you lay down by my side
The rain brings something beautiful,
Did I just catch a glimmer in your eye?
If I stay here, will you hold me
And tell me that you love me, even though?
Or would you smile timidly
And gladly let me say I told you so?
The leaves may rustle beneath our shoes
But no one’s here, it’s just us and the moon
Oh tell me dear when I’m not here
Do you cave in and give up way too soon?
Oh I wish I could fill your half-empty glass
It’s hard to fly when snowflakes veil the grass
When baby birds fall from the sky
They find another way they haven’t tried
The willow trees sway in the breeze
The thunder comes and all you know is goodbye
If I stay here, will you hold me
And tell me that you love me, even though?
Or would you smile timidly
And gladly let me say I told you so?
The rushing wind is passing by
Every time you lay down by my side
The rain brings something beautiful
Did I just catch a glimmer in your eye?
If I can’t make you happy
Then I guess that I should just leave you alone
Still you hold me close to you
‘Cause you can’t face the darkness on your own
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7. |
Rainsound
02:53
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Waiting for the sunrise
I look into your eyes
And I feel your cold hand
But nowadays I’m standing by myself
I can hear the rainfall
Still, I feel alright, overall
And I wonder where you’re walking
While everybody is talking out loud
And they won’t settle down
And I don’t make a sound
I can hear their laughter
Clamor in the halls this afternoon
And everybody rambles
All my thoughts are scrambled all around
And they won’t settle down
But they don’t make a sound.
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8. |
Seasick
05:21
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I can’t remember
The last time I tried
To prove to you I was an angel
Because now I see
How you resented me…
So take me to the river
And I’ll swim far away
Fulfill your reality
And as the water fills my lungs
I’ll slowly wash away
All the pain I have caused you.
How could I have known
That I’d taken it to far?
Naïve and oblivious affliction
And now I think…
So drop me in the water
And I’ll swim far away
Breathing though I’m sinking
And as the river clogs my lungs
I’ll gently fade away
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9. |
Red Balloon
04:39
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Giving up
It sounds as if the cycle’s coming round again
Once I see you go
Driving by
That house of yours
Vines shroud windows and the door
Miss you waving hello
Gone through photos
Unwritten wills
Unanswered questions
How could I unwind?
Too old to live
And still too young to die
Here you are
So glad to be
Perfection is all you are to me
I’d hate to see you leave so soon
In your eyes, I know
Your tears will soon be mine
You’ll float away like a big red balloon
Gone through photos
Unwritten wills
Unanswered questions
How could I unwind?
Too old to live
And still too young to die
She’s crying
Though the worst is over
Ashes
Goodbyeing
Swiftly denying
It all
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10. |
Artifacts
08:36
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Can you find your hazel eyes?
It seems as if I’ve lost mine
Every time I turn these pages
You’re half smiling
I hear you screaming in your mind
But no one looks beyond those dreamy eyes
Once I wished upon a shooting star
You’d love me
But every time I looked for you
You were hiding from me
I see things you think I am blind to
Can you help me help you help me through?
I can’t speak when nothing makes sense to me
I can’t sleep when everything is tense
I won’t speak, I’ve got no defenses
I won’t dream when I’m left in suspense…
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11. |
Alisce (Bonus Track)
02:38
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I know this pretty girl, her eyes a vibrant green
She knows just what I'm looking for, she knows just what I need
She's very understanding, her affections are quite demanding
Though she doesn't say "I love you," but that's alright because she can't...
Oh, oh, Alisce, what can I say?
You put your paws around me and the demons go away
And oh, oh, baby, trust me it's true,
I don't need a lover, I'll be happy just as long as I have you.
When I lay awake at night, it's morning soon I dread
The sorrow in my broken heart, the anger in my head
My body's very weary and my days are looking dreary
But my love is very near me as she purrs upon my bed
Oh, oh, Alisce, what can I say?
You put your paws around me and the demons go away
And oh, oh, baby, trust me it's true,
I don't need a lover, I'll be happy just as long as I have you.
God forbid--I know your bladder's very small sometimes
I know you throw up on the floor
And I know you sacrifice the lives of other beings,
But that's only because you love me...
So oh, oh, Alisce, what can I say?
You put your paws around me and the demons go away
And oh, oh, baby, trust me it's true,
I don't need a lover, I'll be happy just as I long as I have Alisce,
Alisce, she is my life...
As I sing this song to you, your presence brightens up my night
And oh, oh, baby, trust me it's true,
I don't need a lover, I'll be happy just as long as I have you.
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Elena Karpoff Albany, New York
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